Living together: bypassing obstacles
There are factors important for harmonious relationship of two people in love: patience, mutual respect and understanding. Material basis is not enough to create a family, we need some psychological and physiological compatibility, ability to love a man the way he is and recognize his right to be himself, give way to small things, without prejudice to your own self-esteem. Material well-being contributes to stability of marriage, but it will never replace spiritual closeness.
Joint life in absence of genuine feeling turns into a cohabitation of two people and becomes a burden. You can and should learn to love, together with ability to sacrifice, meet each other’s wishes. Feelings and characters of two people are subjected to severe tests during life together. Each of newly-weds has family model, which he was raised in, so difficulties and clashes are inevitable.
Men’s and women’s origin
We know a common phrase: man is strong sex, and women - weak. Men’s and women’s interests and hobbies sometimes diverge, as behavior and attitude to same situations is different. All these differences are due to the very nature of man. Man and woman represent two opposite origins: male and female. As part of a whole, rather than the whole, they complement each other.
During period of maturation adolescent develops his own idea of how a man should be and what it means to be a woman. This process is very subtle in nature, as formation of these representations involves physiological and psychological factors. Communication with persons of the opposite sex, traditions of each family helps to understand and educate male or female qualities in ourselves.
Natural, friendly and warm style of communication within a family is based on genuine respect, when people value and see femininity in a girl (woman), and masculinity in boys (men).
Complementary opposites
Differences in structure of body and physiological functions are complemented by most common psychological features of men and women. So, a woman is gentle and caring woman, aggressive nature is less typical for her, she is quieter and softer. A man is stronger in actions, purposeful and straightforward, This is their biological destiny. However, human physiology led to life such concepts as physical attraction, passion, desire to satisfy sexual needs, not associated with childbirth..
Man and woman unite in love. Their psychology and views are different. Sometimes it hinders understanding, therefore, a man and woman must learn understanding each other, develop a culture of interpersonal communication.
Inter-and self-esteem
Mutual respect between a man and a woman is reflected in behavior, speech. Tender and gentle words are necessary to both, but especially women. Interest in partner’s affairs and problems, help in word and deed are most important. Raising such a relationship begins during adolescence, when formation of boys and girls is the most intense.
Men and women need to be mindful of self-respect and respect for each other. Women tend to be caring, gentle and at the same time able to stand up for themselves, children, family, and a man should be strong, good, fair, able to assume responsibility for family welfare. Young man and woman are an inexhaustible source of energy and happiness for each other. Such relationships and attitudes form the basis of a happy family life.
Love and sexual content
Juxtaposition of love, as the highest sense and biological and sexual need, is expressed in boys especially sharply. Falling in love, they call emerging affection as friendship, and at the same time have a strong eroticism, devoid of delicate psychological content.
When a 15-year-old girl asks seriously: «Is there a pure love?» - It already contains an allegation that any sensibility, starting with touches and kisses, is «dirty». Deepening of such representations may complicate family life in future.
On the one hand, young people’s dream of love and understanding of ideal of love often has no sexual content. On the other hand, among adolescents (13-15 years) «dirty» conversations are not uncommon. Pornographic images are of strong interest for young people, allow them to «grounding», «reducing» concerns of their erotic experience, which they are not prepared to psychologically and culturally. Adults often believe that this is peculiar only to «bad» boys. In fact, both «dirty» sex and «grand» ideal of perfect love can exist in minds of the same teenager.
“Banned” questions
Adolescent cynicism warps adults, but one must bear in mind that discussion of «no» issues (this includes not only sex, but many other emotions, associated with physiological changes in adolescence) with their peers allows relieving tension, caused by such talk, and in part defuse it through laughter. However, one should worry not only about those who like «dirty» conversations, but also those who listen in silence: these are these guys who are unable to express and «ground» their vague feelings, they are often most impressionable and vulnerable.
That is why communication of adolescent with adult (teachers, doctors, parents), who know peculiarities of physiological and psychological development of adolescent sexuality, is so important. Those who work with adolescents must make maximum sensitivity and efforts to preserve and strengthen their souls in a thin «thread», which links love, sexuality and high moral principles, help them understanding that sexuality outside of human relations is meaningless.
